First World Independence

Living in a third world country has its perks sometimes.  For most part of my childhood we were in a middle-income family, yet we have Nannies and maids who cleans the house, takes out the garbage, prepares our lunches, washes the dishes, makes sure we take a bath, brush our teeth.  What's not fair is that now that it's my turn to become a parent, I will have to do it myself.

I remember that I joked about my dream of marrying a rich man and not have to work anymore...to live the lives of the rich actresses and politician's wives or businessmen's concubines in the Philippines.  Not having to think of how to make more money, but instead, how to spend money. LOL. Of course it was a joke (that is half-meant).

Wouldn't it be nice to meet up with girlfriends in the middle of the day and chat for hours?  But then who could afford that?

Seriously though, wouldn't it be nice if we could go about town not having to worry about driving myself in the chaotic streets of Makati but instead having a driver to bring you to your destination...or going to the spa by myself, get a massage or a facial...then meet up with girlfriends at a coffee shop and chat for hours (is this even really happening or does this only happen on TV shows like "Friends"?)...then go shopping, trying on clothes for as long as I want to...or liesurely take my time in working out in the gym.

Shopping without having your spouse signalling you to hurry up all the time would be such a treat.

But then I wake up and realize I'm in America the supposedly land of the free...living the American dream...going through the ratrace like the rest of the middle class populace.  I work hard on my day job, drive the car myself to go buy groceries or do errands myself, pick up my daughter myself, go to dance / ice skating lessons, get home make dinner myself, give my daughter a bath, serve dinner, clean up dishes, do my kids' homework with her, do the bills, put her to bed, then work some more at night.

Have you had your child join your evening conference calls at some point?  Yeah, sounds familiar.

Yes we have weekends too...we go to the mall go shopping, only with a husband looking over your shoulder as if trying to give you a telephatic signal to hurry up.  Yes I do work out also...but no more than an hour in the gym honey because I have to go back home and do the laundry (myself).  Don't even get me started on the spa.  Seriously, I only get that once a year on my birthday.  And also, never mind having coffee with your friends in the coffee shop -- we have a keurig brewer at home, I can have coffee there cheaper. LOL

No, I'm not exactly complaining.

Despite my unpampered, super hectic, stressed out daily routine, there are things I am also thankful for.  I realize independence and self-reliance gives you a sense of fulfillment.  While I wish to have a little more me time than what I currently have, I am happy I'm not domestically challenged.  Sure my hands aren't model-worthy, but I know for sure that I'm no kitchen idiot either.  I got down all the routines to a science that I go through it like clockwork.  This is where my time-and-motion-study skills and semi-OCD personality come to play also.  I discovered unchartered passions...such as baking (but only to clean up after myself but that's fine). 

The independence also forced us lazy ass adults to become the hands on parents that we should have.  I am glad to say there almost nothing I do not know about my child.  I know what she eats, what her schedule at school is, who her friends are, the scars in her body from all that playing...and with the amount of alone time we have together and the amount of talking she does, I know what she's been learning at school, what interests her, what makes her happy, what makes her scared and anxious. 

Best of all, our independence have made us become a closer family unit.  My husband and I (despite being both youngest in our families) have finally learned not to count score on who's done what in the house.  We, as a couple, have made our own respective adjustments, respected each other's strengths, learned how to compromise on mutual decisions...and all this we settled by ourselves (no in-laws, no parents, no friends).  After all, it is OUR FAMILY.  We cannot depend on other people to take care of our family for us.